What Lost Means to Me

That's why the Red Sox will never win the series.

I remember when Jack first woke up in the jungle, dazed and confused, searching for answers. I remember again when Jack awoke in the jungle, still confused and in search of answers. I still don't understand how 48+ people survived a plane crash, moved an island, survived another plane crash, time traveled to 1977, returned to the present, remembered their lives in another universe, and, most importantly, kept their beards trimmed the entire time. Nor do I care.

What was Lost about? Was it really about the mythology? Or did we fool ourselves into believing the origins of the Frozen Donkey Wheel and Ezra Sharkington were more important than the lives of the survivors of Oceanic Flight 815?

Granted, the central mythology of the show makes up the body of the show, but the characters are its backbone.

Don't tell me what I can't do!

Much like how Ben was never born on the island, I didn't find Lost until the hiatus before the third season. A program aired on direcTV (one that recently re-aired on the 101 network) advertising the sale of the Lost DVD box sets.

I was a kid then, still am. My daily programming primarily consisted of whatever aired on the Disney channel and ESPN. In fact, when the ads first popping up for the first season, the show scared me. I recognized the guy from Lord of the Rings (the brialliant Dominic Monaghan), but the premise frightened the hell out of me. Something about plane crashes just shook me, somehow. Heck, Castaway with Tom Hanks kept me up for nights! And the images shown on the promo were especially realistic and spine tingling. I never thought this show would eventually grab my imagination the way it would.

Besides, a scripted version of Survivor wasn't my cup of tea, but Lost, despite it being a show about plane crash survivors, wasn't really about that.

Obviously, Lost caught the imaginations of many others. While I continued following baseball scores and/or the upcoming Disney channel movies, many others, excuse the pun, got lost in Lost! It became a global phenomena, ranking in some of the best ever ratings for a science fiction program. Millions became entrenched in the quips of Sawyer, the mysteries of the impossible to enter Hatch, the numbers, smoke monster, Sawyer's abs, Jack's redemption, Kate, Locke, it goes on and on. A great number of those people devoted themselves to fan sites to decode the questions making up the mythology. Lost, almost overnight, had become the watercooler show of the internet age - and I missed out on it.

Still, I redeemed myself as best I could. Something about that advertisement grabbed my attention. I don't know what exactly, but I have my suspicions. Most likely it was the scene they showed with Jack and Locke during the finale. This sequence would later be known as the famous "Man of Science, Man of Faith" interaction between the two core characters. I was fixated on the mysterious, scarred old man telling the young, flawed doctor that he did, despite his denial, believe. There was a magic to their squabble, a unique substance to their words I hadn't heard since first watching the Star Wars trilogy. I instantly fell in love with this show.

Everything happens for a reason

I liked Lost at first, but didn't love it. I watched the first three episodes and half of Walkabout before taking a break from Lost.

Sure, I liked it alot. The opening sequence was unlike any other. The acting was great. I liked the pacing plenty. But still...something lacked, and I couldn't explain what exactly.

Then, I decided to stop watching. I put the DVD set back on my shelf and let it gather dust for six months.

I watched other shows, mostly Friends. I still saw plenty of baseball, but I grew out of the Disney channel - no more Goofy for me. I started trying other shows, too - That 70s Show and The Simpsons, for instance. Mostly comedies, with the rare exception of Nip/Tuck. Which scared the living crap out of me.

Then, one random summer day, I got bored. I stopped playing my PS2 and decided to give Lost another chance. I decided to finish watching Walkabout.

Not remembering where I left off, I began from the beginning.

This is destiny!

Once again, in the middle of chaos, Locke wiggled his toe. The mysterious, scarred old man, whose faith versus science speech got me to buy the DVD in the first place, repeated the same motion with his toes.

I had no idea what to make of it. I just took it as nothing. After miraculously surviving the plane crash, he probably just wanted to check to see that everything was okay.

I found the remainder of the episode to be watchable but mediocre television, the same exact thoughts I had when I last attempted to view this episode. I enjoyed the Locke bits, of him being a badass hunter, but besides that...nothing much impressed.

That is, until the episode's final moments. As Locke stared into the fire of the burning corpses, he revisited a memory, a devastating recollection for this tormented hero.

Somehow, someway, Locke had been in a wheelchair. This man, who throughout the episode was viewed as some sort of heroic hunter, was nothing in his previous life but an angry, crippled old man. Shouting at the heavens about what he could not do, Locke yelled out his frustration.

Then we cut again to a familiar scene. This time Locke stood up and the sequence took new meaning. The island gave Locke a second chance, he could finally be the hero he always wanted to be. All at once, behind the brialliant score from composer Michael Giacchino, I realized what this show was about.

It wasn't about running away from monsters or decoding the mysteries of the island - Lost was about its characters, the individuals who got a new life in an unexpected place. At its heart, Lost concerns people, the mistakes they make, the lies they tell, the secrets they keep, the anger they feel, and the love they share.

With the finale dawning upon us, I want to remember not the end but the beginning. Sure, the answers may not be what you expected, but, as Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse keep repeating, this is a show about its characters. This became most apparent when the question of what was the monster became who is the monster. Very slyly, the writers turned one of its biggest questions into a character study.

With The End nearing, I hope for a finale that puts an end to many great character archs, including those of tragic heroes Sawyer, Ben and Richard. Because that is what Lost is really about.

Though, I still hope to find out what the hell that light is!

Superbowl Ads - My Personal Favorites

As I watched the superbowl wondering who'd win the individual matchups, most notably Brees versus Manning, I kept being told to choose between Team Kendra and Team Kim. (The respective girlfriends of NFL players on both sides of the game, Hank Baskett and Reggie Bush) While I rolled my eyes at such foolishness, I was reminded of the insane numbers put up just a few weeks ago in the AFC and NFC championship games. Records of 48 and 50-somthing million viewers tuned in to find out who would come down to Miami to play for the Lombardi trophy. Those were records for that round of the playoffs.

With the economy's still in the stinker, there's no doubt that America continues to love football. Even more so, we love celebrities and Superbowl ads. While I'm not going to dissect the game (the better team won), I will provide links to my favorite Superbowl commercials of this year, including a Budlight commercial spoofing my favorite show about people stranded on a certain mysterious island. Enjoy!

Doritos

Doritos aired several commercials, these are my favorites.

McDonalds

McDonalds made a recreation of the original Larry Bird versus Michael Jordan playing horse commercial by dueling young phenoms Dwight Howard and Lebron James in a dunking contest. A familiar face also makes an appearance.

I included the original commercial, for reference sake.

Bud Light

What a surprise! Bud Light spoofed Lost by having some beer wash up on shore in their first days on the island. Hilarity ensues.

A Few Other Favorites from Past Years

I hope someone finds these clips to be as hilarious, entertaining, and a great waste of time as I did!

Lost Thoughts - LA X Part 1

Hey, doc, you got another plan to save Sayid? Maybe there's a nuke laying around.

I waited and thought about the perfect way to begin this blog post. After a series of long contemplations, I finally decided to start by saying: WOW. It may seem hasty, though I've already seen the episode twice, but this appears to me to be the best premiere yet and really sets up a badass season 6.

I also reflected on where to begin. The opener seemed like an obvious place.

Remind me to hold it next time.

Okay, I'll admit: I watched the teaser. There, sue me. I caved at the last moment. Nine freaking months without Lost does crazy things to you!

Anyway, the premiere cut off after Jack survives the turbulence. My initial thoughts were that the teaser blew because of all the inconsistencies. (Jack's hair, one bottle instead of two, the lines spoke beforehand, Charlie not running by, etc.) After last season's Charlotte's age debacle, I tired of such production errors.

Long behold, there were several differences in the alternate universe, besides all the character's hairs magically being different. Charlie, as already noted, didn't run by Jack, Hurley's feeling lucky, Desmond's aboard the plane, Shannon didn't follow Boone out of Sydney, and so forth.

Speaking of which, Desmond's aboard the plane? That was a mindfuck in itself. His presence begs the question of whether he's with Penny and what's his reason for being on the plane. I believe, based on some theories I've heard, that our favorite time travelling scot, after telling Jack he has his brothas mixed up, is not with Penny at all. If Widmore died on the island from the bomb's explosion, then Penny could have never been born. Then what's the deal with the wedding ring he was supposedly wearing? (according to what someone else told me) Could he have possibly married someone else? Could that person be someone we know, like Libby? I have no clue, all I know is I can't wait to find out.

Also, I noticed Jack having some sort of recollection of the events in the other timeline. The way he looked in the mirror and seemed to recognize Desmond really stood out to me. I'm interested in seeing how this proceeds and if his remembrance will somehow collide the two universes.

By the way, I am not a fan of the CGI on Lost and though the submerging in the water part was cool it was also mad fake. (that fish that swam by was especially unreal) But still that sequence brought chills down my spine.

All in all, a great opener, though I'd still rank at least two introductions ahead of this series of events. The CGI brought it a notch down below the awesomeness of seeing Otherville for the first time in A Tale of Two Cities and the introduction of Desmond in Man of Science, Man of Faith. However, the rest of the episodes did not match up with the next two hours from LA X. Not even close.

Also, here's a pretty cool comparison of the LA X opening conversation with Rose and the original dialouge between the cool. Thanks to Curbfan, for showing me how to add Youtube videos on websites.

This ain't LAX!

So, they're back, just as we expected them to be. Well, not exactly, but close.

If I had a major complaint about Lost as a whole, in all likeliness the grievance would deal with Kate Austen. She just sticks her nose where it shouldn't be. That undecisive piece of trailer trash should have just let Sawyer battle it out with Jack. But no, she takes it upon herself to get in the way. The sooner she dies, the better. But I doubt she'll bite the dust, as much as I want to see her get tossed in a wood chipper.

The Sawyer-Jack rivalry has returned and I fully expect their differences to be a major plot point throughout the final season. I could easily see them being on the opposite side of the imminent war. Heck, Sawyer and Jack are kind of like Jacob and Man in Black in a way.

Speaking of which, I just love whenever the castaways plus Miles work together for a goal. When they together dug to save Juliet was pretty cool.

And I know this may sound totally unbelievable, but I totally called dead Jacob visiting Hurley in the premier, just ask a certain smiling friend of mine about it. I'm never right about anything so I'll enjoy this little victory of mine, however sad it may be.

Anyway, Jacob's message resonated throught the rest of the two hour opener: "Save Sayid, because Man in Black needs to get his neck snapped by his feet of death."

Also, Hurley yelling "I got a gun! And I know how to use it!" while struggling to hold the thing made me laugh, for whatever weird reason.

This thing goes down, I'm sticking with you.

I accidently read somewhere that Ian Somerhalder would reprise his role as Boone in the season premier, and my thinking was "not him again". But the small talk between him and Locke (the real one) may well have been one of the best non-Flocke scenes of the night.

I don't need to recap the dialouge for you, instead I'll just say there were some great lines exchanged between the two and I freaking swore for a second that Locke could walk in this parallel universe.

Boone: "You're not pulling my leg, are you?"

Locke: "Why would I do that?"

Oh my God, I can't even begin to explain the irony! Or the meaning of irony for that matter, but that's an entirely different horse.

Anyway, before my ADD kicks in...

I'm sorry you had to see me like that.

The same smiling friend I mentioned earlier also suggested that at one point Ben will return to his leadership role amongst the Others, as evidence by Illana asking who's in charge before Ben came strolling by. I must admit, old friend, you're speaking irrationally, considering Ben just finished killing their real leader. You're thinking's off since Ben, by far, is your favorite character on the show. If someone kills the President, you don't make them your new President afterwards. It's illogical, but I understand why you think that.

Anywho, I thought Richard was gonna lay a can of whoop ass on Ben when he told him (Not) Locke wanted to talk to him. Instead, he just threw him in front of the real John Locke to show him what they're up against. Honestly, I love Ben, but I would of totally loved for Richard to kick his ass, especially since he just screwed everything up. Oh, well. A man can only dream...

Later, the best series of events took place after Ben reentered the foot, followed by "Jacob's bodyguards". What follows next is the greatest beating ever. Bram and his croons stood no chance against Man in Black. The second I heard smokey's clicking I started saying a prayer for them because I knew just how fucked they were.

After Smokey/Man in Black/Flocke/Not Locke/Esau/whatever the fuck we're calling him easily disposed of the first couple of henchmen, he descended on poor Bram. Sorry, bud, we hardly knew ye. But I liked the little clarification that smokey can't cross the sand for whatever weird reason. I've read that he acted like a pussy in doing this, but I'd just like to say that if I were in that situation I probably would have done the same. Bram knew he stood no shot against him.

After Smokey, for the better of word, kicked their asses, he returned to his old form to say to Ben the best line of the premiere and also the most revealing.

Man in Black: "I'm sorry you had to see me like that."

Awesome!

I'm the luckiest guy alive.

A great scene between Sawyer and Hurley in the parallel universe also took place in the middle of all the craziness of the premiere. There appeared to be plenty of foreshadowing in this simple interaction.

Sawyer very slyly told Hurley to not go around telling people he won the lottery after overhearing him babble with the always pointless Arzt. In future flash parallels, I fully expect Sawyer to try to con some money from the clueless millionaire.

Hurley also mentioned he owned Mr. Cluck's and that he felt he was very lucky. Obviously, this may well be changes brought about by the island being detonated earlier. Without the island, the numbers weren't cursed...which begs to ask the question how would have Hurley heard of the numbers then. Also, this sheds light on Hurley possibly actually being cursed by the numbers in the regular universe. I also assume the original Mr. Cluck's didn't get hit by that meteor, thus explaining the greater popularity of the restaurant.

I also assume Eloise and Widmore's deaths may well mean that Daniel doesn't exist in this universe. Also, Danielle Rousseau could have possibly never crashed on the island and Richard may not even exist. Even Ben could be dead. The possibilities are endless as to what differences were brought about.

I have to tell you something, it's really, really important.

I think Juliet has died like three times in the last two episodes, each demise as heartbreaking as the last. Not to be outdone by Locke, who's died just as many times in the past few seasons.

But even Locke, who I've loved since he stood up off the ground in Walkabout and subsequently got me addicted to this show, didn't make me cry half as much as Juliet did as she passed away in Sawyer's arms.

After getting some help from Jin and Hurley, Sawyer finally descended to save his love. As I predicted, (I'm never right so let me enjoy this) even if she somehow survived everything she still could not have lived through the injuries she had already sustained. After telling Sawyer to kiss her, knowing this was the end of her existence, he said a line I swore was spoken as: "You got blood on you". I didn't understand, until reading later that he actually said, "You got it, Blondie". Just a bit of clarifying, in case you were as befuddled as I was.

Anyway, Juliet died Sawyer's arms. Very, very sad. Almost as sad as the last time she died, but not quite.

I was supposed to die.

In the most foreshadowing scene of the night, Jack helped the extremely flirty Cindy save Charlie on board the plane in the parallel universe, thanks to Sayid's feet. In all honesty, there should be a statue of his feet instead of Taweret's four toes.

Anyway, Sayid's badassness helped Jack save Charlie from choking himself on a bag of heroine he stuck down his throat.

Which begs the question if Charlie was meant to die here. We've seen Jack bring him back to life before, but maybe there is more to all of his rebirths. Perhaps, Jack is special and has the island-given ability to cure people. That would explain Sayid being healed later in the episode, too. Maybe, Jack's had this ability all along, like when he cured Sarah's spine.

I'll be the first to admit that I've been back and forth on whether or not I like Jack, but I really enjoyed him in this premiere. He's been alot less annoying since figuring out he has a destiny as Locke always told him.

Before I forget to mention it, I thought it was great that Dom made an appearance on the show since he had already committed himself to a series. I'm sure Darlton went to the Flashforward producers and said, "Hey, he was our's first! I know you're the next Lost, but we're the real Lost."

And as our heroine addicted friend exited, he said to Jack another great line.

Charlie: "I was supposed to die."

Sounds like a bit of foreshadowing, not only to his later death in the other universe but also to Jack's ability to interfere in such things.

But I could be wrong. Wouldn't be the first time.

Buckle up. We're almost home.

Finally, the plane landed in LA and mirroring one of the final scenes of the first season's Exodus we watched our passengers exit the plane instead of enter.

I wish I had something insightful to say about this great scene except that my stupid sister had set earlier an autotune to her freaking favorite show, TeenMom. So, as I fought with the controller to take me back to some real television, the passengers got off at LAX just as the title of the episode foretold. All the while as I watched what might be the worse show to ever exist.

Luckily, I managed to tune back in to see Locke and Jack share glances. Those two are oh so good together, possibly the second best pairing outside of Ben and Locke. Their chemistry is dynamite.

Asking me what's in the shadow of the damn shadow doesn't mean you're in charge.

I found the title of this episode to be interesting. As we all know, there shouldn't be a space between the A and X in LAX.

I once read a theory that the space can be explained by the fact that it means the Losties in the parallel universe would have to meet in Los Angeles in 2010 (thus the LA and the X, as in 10 in Roman numerals). I found this flawed theory to be interesting but ultimately ridiculous.

I believe it's just an inside joke by Darlton. It's a play on words, I humbly believe. As some of us know, one of the many names given to Jacob's nemesis was Mr. X. The space was placed to separate that letter and give the impression that X would be important.

Though I'm sure there's plenty of other theories out there to explain this odd title, that's all I think it means.

Nice to meet you, Jack...or see you again.

Though I doubted the awesomeness of Lost with the disapointment in season 5, LA X delivered thrills while also promising much more. I can't wait to find out all the answers!

I'm not going to waste anymore time on this blog post as I have work to do and I sometimes value my sleep. I'll try to write my Lost Thoughts on Part 2 whenever I can. Until then I leave you with possibly the greatest promo ever made for the greatest television program ever. It's spoiler free, in case you're worried.

Namaste! And good luck.

A Bundyful Christmas

I'm Married with children...I'll never be free.

I think I may have just stumbled upon a new Christmas tradition this past holiday season. This merry post, coming to you almost a full month after my last entry, is a bit outdated, I'll admit. Sorry, I got caught up on my Christmas gifts. (New laptop! Woo-hoo!) But now, my one or two loyal readers, I present what I believe to be the greatest gift of all - a not-so-merry Christmas with Al Bundy!

Yes, the unhappy shoe salesman may just be the best thing to happen to Christmas since milk and cookies. Move over crappy Christmas specials, Al and the rest of the Bundys are the best show to tune into on those cold December nights.

Now who wants to hear about the red-headed Grinch who stole Uncle Al's life?

Christmas with the Bundys is never cheery but always hilarious. Al, naturally a hater of the season, attempts to bring less cheer to the holidays and always finds himself in one funny situation after the other, whether it duking it out with the mall Santas or reluctantly playing Santa himself. He tries, however unsuccessfully, to bring joy to his family during this time but usually ends up fighting the cheer himself. Unlike other shows where the Christmas episodes bring delight to their characters, the Bundys often end up mocking the popular holiday with their crazy antics and pessimism.

I only just discovered Married...With Children last year, during which time TVland aired Christmas episodes of the show I once heard described as "the most controversial show on TV". I immediately unearthed why such uneasiness surrounded the series. The Bundys are not like other sitcom families - they are unhappy, poor, unloving, spiteful, hungry, and horny. Christmas to them means dissapointment, contradicting the themes of most Christmas specials. That marathon changed my life: I discovered what may have been the funniest show I had ever seen, more so than Friends.

Be quite or I'll send you to the bathroom dungeon like Lil Bobby.

Don't get me wrong - I love the holidays! But Al, Peggy, Kelly, Bud, and the D'Arcys make me laugh nonstop for the three hours I had my butt glued to the couch. TVland, again this year, aired three hours of Bundyful Christmas episodes and they were all as funny as the last. I recommend, for anyone who's looking for a good laugh, to make an appointment during the holidays to visit the Bundy household. You'll laugh, maybe cry, and quite possibly rethink what is the true meaning of Christmas.

5/5, for Married...With Children Christmas episodes

A fat woman came into the shoe store today and wanted a pair of shoes to wear to a Christmas party. I told her to stand on her hands, put a star on her butt, and go as the world’s largest, ugliest Christmas tree. Then she has the nerve to get mad at me because she's fat.

Here are some memorable speeches from the show's Christmas episode 'It's a Bundyful Life: Part 1':

Al: I hate Christmas. The mall is full of nothing but women and children. All you hear is "I want this.", "Get me this.", "I have to have this."... and then there's the children. And they're all by my store 'cause they stuck the mall Santa right outside ringing his stupid bell. As if you need a bell to notice a 300-pound alcoholic in a red suit. "Ho, ho, ho," all day long. So, nice as can be, I go outside, ask him to shut the hell up. He takes a swing at me. So I lay a hook into his fat belly and he goes down. Beard comes off, all the kids start crying and I'm the bad guy.

Al: Twas the night before christmas, and all through the house, / no food was a stirring, not even a mouse. / Stockings were hung 'round dad's neck like a tie, / along with a note that said "presents or die". / Children were plotting all night in their beds, / while the wife's constant whining was splitting his head. / But daddy had money this year in the bank, / then they closed up early, now dad's in the tank. /... and all of a sudden Santa appeared, / a sneer on his face, booze in his beard. / Santa I said as he laughed merrily, / you do so much for others do something for me. / Bundy he said, you only sell shoes, / your son is a sneak-thief, your daughters' a flooze. / Ho Ho Santa said, should I mention your wife, / her hairs like an a-bomb, her nails like a knife. / As he climbs up the chimney, that fat piece of dung, / he mooned me two times, he stuck out his tongue. / And I heard him exclaim, as he broke wind with glee: / you're married with children, you'll never be free.

What happened, the Easter Bunny hang himself on my front lawn?

Also, here is a link to a bunch of the greatest moments from 'It's a Bundyful Life: Part 1'.

Movie Review - Hard Candy

Hard Candy (2006)

Directed by: David Slade

Written by: Brian Nelson

Starring: Partrick Wilson, Ellen Page, Sandrah Oh

Well, 4 out of 5 doctors agree that I am actually insane.

Hard Candy is the rare and undervalued horror flick that goes unnoticed behind the mainstream terror hitting our theatres. Coming from a well written script with twists at every corner, this movie not only brings thrills but gets the audience invested in the story's characters. That, in today's "torture is entertainment" horror movies, is a rarity and a welcome change.

Though don't get me wrong, this movie will still make you cringe as much as any other slasher flick; only here, we care about who's getting cut up.

Nothing's yours when you invite a teenager into your home.

The main character barely resembles the typical Hollywood hero. He's extremely flawed, a 32-year old children's photographer that gets more joy out of his work than he admits. His name is Jeff (Watchmen's Patrick Wilson) and, though he denies it, he's a pedophile. He communicates with young teens online, sending them various flirty messages like "So we should finally hook up, baby".

That's when 14-year old Hayley (Juno's Ellen Page) decides to punish Jeff for his evil deeds. She invades his home -at first pretending to be a cute, innocent girl before rapidly changing her persona. Hayley's determined to reveal the truth about Jeff, at all means necessary.

Ultimately, she decides the law will never punish her prisoner as much as he deserves. In the movie's most frightening sequence, Hayley performs a solo cascration, stating "it's the world's easiest operation". Jeff, unsuccessfully, tries to escape, but there's no running from the truth, he had it coming.

Their interactions make up the majority of the film, and their banter, amidst plenty of screaming, is undeniably fun.

Your conversational skills are really deteriorating as the day goes on.

Hard Candy never takes the cheap path in scaring its audience. Jeff doesn't bleed, lose a limb, or gets stab to satisfy the viewers. Instead, the film uses old school techniques to build up suspense and fear.

Even as Hayley toys with her captive slave, she doesn't do him physical harm until further into the movie. We know she will eventually - she says so herself. But we wait. As they talk and personal information about Jeff's past is revealed, we know the time approaches for his ultimate fate. The suspense builds up, our mind begins to picture the horror up ahead. All the while, Hayley flashes a cute grin and says witty lines, like Juno on drugs.

Hard Candy reminds us what a true horror movie is. And when the build up ends and the moment arrives, its never what we expect.

Well, didn't Roman Polanski just win an Oscar?

Page gives the performance of a lifetime, better than her much praised Oscar nominated role in Juno. She's a similiar character here, only much more frightening and much more interesting. Though she's a self-proclaimed vindictive bitch, we can't help but laugh at her wit, even as she prepares to cut off Jeff's balls. Her backstory may never be revealed - she implies that everything she's told him is a lie, including her name - but that only adds to the mystery of who is this sinister judge.

Patrick Wilson as well gives an inspired performance. He may well be the most underappreciated actor of this generation, giving great performances in this film as well as the Oscar nominated Little Children and Watchmen. Wilson's not a household name, but, with performances like this, he may soon be one. We believe his terror and his tormented soul, no matter how much he denies his past transgressions.

I am every little girl you ever watched, touched, hurt, screwed, killed.

Hard Candy is a must for any fan of horror and/or suspense. This movie works as both terror and a character study. Also, for any fans of Page, her career-making performance just may be her best. She is simply amazing.

Great performances, classic horror, witty writing, all make for a great movie watching experience. Rent it, you won't be disappointed.

4.5/5

...Or not.

Here is a link to the movie's trailer and here is a link to a one of the many great scenes. Enjoy.

My Top Ten Favorite Movies of the Decade...

WHY THESE MOVIES

For starters, I'm not a fan of animation, though I do appreciate the artistry in every Pixar film. I like performers in my movies, their mere presence brings a level of realness to every film. Also, comedies usually aren't my thing - 9 of the 10 films on here are dramas. And I despise plotless horror flicks. I'm annoyingly picky with what I watch and picking ten movies wasn't easy. In the end, I think I assembled a good list that exemplifies cinema in the 2000s.

My top three are probably my favorite three of all time. If you can, rent and watch these films. You'll be dazzled, shocked, and entertained all at once.

Enjoy.

10. Brick (2005)
Writer/Director: Rian Johnson
Starring: Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Emilie de Ravin

I'm a huge fan of the film noir genre, but in recent years the hard-boiled detective stories have seemingly gone extinct. Dead are the classics tales of loneliness and nostalgia such as Out of the Past or The Big Sleep. Even future noir like Blade Runner have vanished from the cinema. But in 2005, director Rian Johnson resuscitated the long dead stylish dramas with an unexpected twist.

In Brick, the story doesn't center around a detective roaming around the city to solve a murder but of a high school student city strolling through the hallways to do the same. What's most surprising about Brick, besides the great performance by star-in-the-making Joseph Gordon-Levitt, is that the change works exceedingly well. Named one of the 50 best high school movies of all time, this little film deserves to be in the 50 ever for the way it captures lonely and despair all while solving a murder. Brick works on many levels and I recommend it to anyone who likes intricate mysteries.

9. Pan's Labyrinth (2006)
Writer/Director: Guillermo del Toro
Starring: Ivana Baquero, Doug Jones

This is not your childhood fairy tale; in fact, this proclaimed "parable" actually bears more resemblance to a horror flick than a children's movie. What makes Pan's Labyrinth really work, besides the visionary direction from del Toro, is the mash up of genres that brings forth something utterly unique and frightening. With material undoubtedly original, the audience is never quite sure where the story will take us next. And, boy, what a ride this film is.

With a cast of unknowns, del Toro lets the visuals, based on a mishmash of doodles from his notebooks, tell his tall tale. A truly remarkable and dark fairy tale, Pan's Labyrinth is the best thing to come out of Spain since seafood paella.

8. Borat (2006)
Director: Larry Charles
Written by: Sacha Baron Cohen
Starring: Sacha Baron Cohen, Ken Davitian, Pamela Anderson

When Borat was first released, I heard what can best be described as mixed reviews. Either Borat was great or it was just plain stupid and disgusting. And I think that's the effect Sacha Baron Cohen hoped for. Obviously, I'm in the camp that thought Borat was a brilliant film that made me laugh until my sides hurt. I find that good comedies are difficult to come by, more so than dramas, but this mockumentary works in many ways, both as a satire of American culture and as a character study. Upon its release, "High five!" and "This suit is black, not" along with a couple other phrases instantly became regularly quoted phrases. Borat, whether you like it or not, was apart of the national consciousness.

As a journalist from Kazakstan learning the American culture, Borat is a singular character feared by several Arab countries for what he represents - a protagonist who is sexist, homophobic, and antisemitic. Despite those characteristics, the true culture being satired is the American way of life. With only four actual actors, the rest of the cast were actually unknowingly filmed by Cohen and his film crew. They reveal the darker side of the "U, S, and A" to a man they dubiously believed. But sometime through Cohen's American bashing, Borat becomes a real character and somebody the audience can relate to. That's why, in my humblest opinion, Borat is the best comedy of the decade, and maybe of all time. Plus, you got to love a movie that got sued a half million times.

7. Slumdog Millionaire (2008)
Director: Danny Boyle
Written by: Simon Beaufoy
Starring: Dev Patel, Frida Pinto

Wholly unrealistic and utterly out of this world, the story of a poor boy from India with the chance to win a million dollars on a game show and escape poverty is far fetched in any culture. But with Danny Boyle at the helm and inspired performances from a bunch of young actors, especially coming from the younger incarnations of the main characters, this film works both as a modern day fairy tale and as a look into the poverty of India's slums. With influences from Indian cinema, Slumdog Millionaire transcends any type of usual movie going by combining Bollywood style film making with the nuances from the British director, who subsequently won Best Director at the Oscars for his efforts.

In Slumdog, Jamal Malik's (Dev Patel) only goals in life is to be reunited with the love of his life, Latika (Frida Pinto), and live happily ever after. Complicated by several perils, their relationships just isn't meant to be, but Jamal never gives up hope that they are supposed to be together. Knowing that she watches the Indian version of Who Wants to be a Millionaire?, Jamal gets on the game show because he knows she's somewhere watching. Playing on classic themes of fairy tales, Slumdog Millionaire may be farfetched, but it is also the most uplifting movie of the decade. Winning the Oscar for Best Picture, Slumdog wholly deserved the award as that year's best flick. An instant classic.

6. Kill Bill Vol. 1 + 2 (2003, 2004)

Writer/Director: Quentin Tarantino

Starring: Uma Thurman, David Carradine, Lucy Liu, Michael Madsen

The most ridiculous films of the 2000s is also one of its best. Self-proclaimed film geek Quentin Tarantino shows why he is the most unique director of our age with his best effort since his early work. He once again demonstrates that nobody writes better dialouge than he does, scipting over four hours of fun interactions in the midst of a revenge thriller. Already having made his mark in the 90s with Reservoir Dogs and Pulp Fiction, Tarantino returns with a vengence in the new decade by paying homage to Hong Kong martial arts film, exploitation films, and spaghetti westerns while also bringing a whole new meaning to "here comes the bride".

In the opening sequence, the titular Bill (David Carradine, R.I.P.) shoots the pregnant Bride (Uma Thurman, Tarantino's g0-to gal) in the head, who remains unnamed until the end of the Volume 2. But he didn't kill her. Waking up four years later from a comma, the Bride makes a list of all the people who did her harm and hunts them down, including her former lover, Bill. What proceeds is plenty of head chopping, including an iconic scene where our troubled protagonist faces off against her one-eyed nemesis.

Tarantino chose to break up the film into two parts, being released on separate dates. The films, however, work best as one. While the first carries much of the action, Volume 2 is more of a plot-driven climax, foregoing many head chopping in exchange for dialouge and story. Its debatable which part of the two was better, but it's undeniable that Tarantino remains on top of his game.

5. Catch Me if You Can (2002)

Director: Steven Spielberg

Written by: Jeff Nathanson, based on a novel written by Frank Abagnale

Starring: Leonardo DiCaprio, Tom Hanks, Christopher Walken, Amy Adams

Distraught children unhappy about their parents' divorce aren't supposed to run off and become the greatest con man who ever lived. But that's exactly what Frank Abagnale (Leonardo DiCaprio) does in this fun and true story of crime.

Director Steven Spielberg, who dropped out of Big Fish and Memoirs of a Geisha to film this movie, is at his best here, outstandingly depicting the innocent time of the 60s. Check forgery has never been so much fun as it is in this film. Abagnale poses as a PanAm pilot, a doctor, and a Georgia attorney, all before his 19th birthday. The real Frank Abagnale gave the film high praise, despite various changes from what actually happened. He even said that Spielberg was the only director that "could do this film justice".

But what really separates this movie is the unique relationship developed between Abagnale and the man chasing him, Carl Handratty (Tom Hanks). The two somehow bond and form a surprisingly close relationship.

The performances and the direction make Catch Me if You Can one of the best films of the decade.

4. The Lord of the Rings Trilogy (2001, 2002, 2003)

Writer/Director: Peter Jackson

Starring: Elijah Wood, Ian McKellan, Viggo Mortensen, Liv Tyler, Sean Astin, Dominic Monaghan

Not since Star Wars has a film captured our imagination like Peter Jackson's adaptation of The Lord of the Rings did earlier this decade. With dazzling visual effects and beautiful shooting locations, the images on screen are stunning. Every shot is like an individual canvas piece painted by Jackson's imagination. This fantasy epic is unrelenting in both its special effects and story. By the final act of the trilogy, the film clocks in at over 9 hours of footage. Though the one complaint about the films is the length, every second is as entertaining and gorgeous as the last.

The story follows the adventures of the film's petit heroes, the Hobbits. Amongst them are the blue-eyed Frodo Baggins (Elijah Wood) and the pudgy Samwise Gamgee (Sean Astin). Along with elderly wizard Gandalf (Ian McKellan, in a role he was born to play), disgraced Aragorn (Viggo Mortensen), and several others, they form the Fellowship of the Ring, who's mission it is to destroy the ring and bring peace to Middle-earth.

Each released a year apart, the films get better and better until the final chapter ends the series on a high note. Though long, the films serve as a spectacular festival of what cinema is capable of.

3. Oldboy (2003)

Writer/Director: Chan-wook Park

Starring: Choi Min-sik, Yu Ji-tae Kan, Hye-jeong

Beautiful, operatic, stunning, shocking, those are just some of the adjectives to describe this revenge thriller directed by visionary director Chan-wook Park. Good word of mouth spread news of this film, and sure enough word of this film got to the states. Even the badass motherfucker himself, Samuel L. Jackson, said Oldboy was "the best Asian movie of all time".

Oldboy follows Oh Dae-su as he is trapped in a room for 15 years and than suddenly released one day, just as he was preparing to make his escape. Our hero struggles to unravel the mystery of who locked him in that room for all those years and, more importantly, why. As he discovers, the reasons go far beyond what he could ever imagined.

A shocking look into what one man would do for vengeance ends tragically for our hero. The film climaxes with a bloody showdown with reveals both shocking and disgusting. Oldboy is memorable for both its mindbending finale and the road it took to get there.

This film put Korea in the center of the filmmaking industry and made its director a respected artist of imagery.

2. City of God (2002)

Director: Fernando Meirelles

Written by: Paulo Lins, Braulio Mantovani

Starring: Alexandre Rodrigues, Leandro Fermin0 da Hora, Phellipe Haagensen

Chosen by many as the best film of the decade, City of God ranks high on this list as well. Depicting the slums of Rio de Janeiro in the 70s during the midst of a drug war, the film digs deep into the struggles of growing up where you're lucky to live until you're 20.

The protagonist of the film, Rocket (Alexandre Rodrigues), is an aspiring photographer. Growing up in the middle of the worse slum in Brazil, City of God, he watches as several hoodlums die, including his brother. Then later, the slum is taken over by the remorseless Lil 'Ze (Leandro Fermino da Hora) and his partner in crime, the friendly Benny (Phellipe Haagensen). Caught between a turf war, Rocket tries to escape but instead ends up being the eyes that witness the corruption feeding the shootouts.

City of God goes where no film has gone before. Children battle alongside the older hoodlums -joyously killing their enemies. There's some hope by the end but the film hints at more wars to come even after the film's events.

A truly remarkable tale, its easy to see why City of God is one of the most celebrated films of all time.

1. Memento (2000)

Writer/Director: Christopher Nolan

Starring: Guy Pearce, Carrie Anne Moss, Joe Pantoliano

Quite easily the best movie ever made was "filmed backwards". One of the most memorable aspects about my favorite film is that the events are presented in a non-linear fashion, in reverse chronological order. Each scene begins in an unknown space of time and ends right where the previous scene started. We follow our hero, Leonard Shelby (Guy Pearce, in his best role), as he, along with us, tries to understand the confusion and attempts to solve the mystery of who raped and killed his wife. All of this would be much easier, much less interesting, if not for Leonard's condition, he can't remember any of the clues.

This thriller from the director of The Dark Knight, Christopher Nolan, travels along with our hero as we try, however unsuccessfully, to put the piece together of this complicated mystery.

Leonard suffers from a rare condition where he can't form any new memories, adding difficulty to solving the mystery he has devoted his life to solve. He keeps mementos to remind himself of the clues, but he remains unsure whether someone tampered with them or not. Leonard wouldn't know, he can't remember. By tattoeing the facts about John G., the killer, on his body and writing himself various notes, he keeps himself reminded of what to know and where to go next.

Along for the ride are two Matrix alums as the mysterious Teddy (Joe Pantoliano) and the equally mystifying Nathalie (Carrie Anne-Moss). Leonard's not sure whether they're friends, enemies, or the very person he's hunting down, there's no way of telling.

The questions raised in Memento get answered but never in the expected fashion. And as Leonard's confusion grows as does ours. Because of the way Memento is filmed, it allows us to be like Leonard, puzzled but always ready for what's next. The idea in another director's hands doesn't work, but in Christopher Nolan's possession it flourishes. There's no mystery that Memento is the best movie of the 2000s, and that Christopher Nolan is the decade's best director.

The Show that (Surprisingly) has Me Addicted

FOR BEGINNERS...

Well, I shouldn't start off my newly minted blog with a review of a show that saw its demise earlier this decade. Usually, my loyalties and obsessiveness are reserved for grounding breaking science fiction - such as Lost, The X Files, or Heroes, before the latter stopped writing scripts - or comedies that are actually funny, unlike that Jim Belushi show that finally got cancelled earlier this year. Good television, I find, is a rarity these days.

Being such a Lost dork, I'd watch anything with an actor or actress from my favorite show. Knowing that the HBO drama Oz contained not just one but several soon-to-be Losties, I was always interested in seeing Michael and Eko before they got Lost. Luckily enough, the 101 network on Directv bought the rights to Oz and began airing episodes those long forgotten episodes, and, man oh man, was I in for a treat.

Before you get dismissive, Oz is not just the prison rape show, as many people claim. As Lois on Family Guy once proclaimed: "I know what happens in prison showers! I've seen Oz!" Yes, Oz is extremely gay, but it also pushes the limits and goes places most television shows are wary of traveling. I like that, finally, a show is willing and able to go where most television executives fear like death itself. HBO has a knack for delivering provocative material but Oz, its first drama, just may well be the most outstanding, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

THE PLAYERS

Oz contains a group of then unknown and underappreciated actors who found much success after the show's end. JK Simmons, widely known as the comedic father in Juno or the scene stealing boss in Spiderman, is surprisingly devious as nazi and Aryan Brotherhood leader Vernon Schillinger. I've always said Simmons should be in every movie for his comedy chops, but on Oz he is scary good as the main antagonist to many of the show's other characters. Imagine my surprise when the usually sweet Simmons gains the trust of new cell mate Tobias Beecher, played by Lee Tergesen, and then rapes and engraves a swastika on his right butt cheek. And that's not by far the worse thing he would ever do to poor Toby.



Lacking the strength to fight back, Beecher becomes Schillinger's sex slave, or "prag" as he calls him. Still, the audience follows Beecher, who's newly incarcerated, as we get to know the inner workings of Oswald Penitentiary and learn the routine. The realization that Oz is hardly a paradise shocks both our hero and the audience all at once.



But what really separates Oz is the unpredictability. Most programs, Lost in particular, play on the suspense that nobody is safe and at anytime death can come and take away our favorite character. Oz, however, is truly unprecedented in keeping the suspense at a high level. Every episode, people die, mostly major characters. In the premier, Italian Dino Ortolani is built up to be, along with Beecher, a central character. Instead Oz does what Lost never did, they killed the character we thought would be the "hero". Since, nobody's safe and we can only wait as what seems like every episode someone either gets knifed, burned, shot, executed, or hung. The violence is relentless; the action nonstop.

In the wake of Ortolani's death, chaos ensues in Oz as the prison gangs come to a head. In the middle of it all, idealistic unit manager Tim McManus (Terry Kinney) and the tough but spiteful Warden Leo Glynn (Ernie Hudson) try, however unsuccessfully, to maintain peace. Kinney especially shines in his role, as his character's belief in justice and rehabilitation gets challenged throughout the series. Other notables include the prison doctor Gloria Nathan (Lauren Velez), the lead drug counselor and psychologist Sister Peter Marie (Rita Moreno), the priest Father Ray Mukada (B.D. Wong), and the conflicted female correctional officer Diane Wittlesay (Edie Falco). Falco, who now stars as the titular Nurse Jackie, shows flashes of why she would later win three Emmys on yet another hit HBO series, The Sopranos. In a show dominated by men, Falco's Wittlesay stands out as a strong female character, and that's something lacking in today's television world. She's both strong and determined, traits many other show runners should follow suit in writing for their female leads.

Despite the strength of acting in the staff at Oswald, the prisoners remain the group with the better cast of characters. My personal favorite is manipulative Irish inmate Ryan O'Reilly (Dean Winters). What's most interesting about this snake-like foe isn't his physical assets, he's scrawny and hardly imposing, but his knack for killing people without even touching them. Knowing full well tension exists between many of the prison's gangs, O'Reilly feeds the fire by starting entire wars with his mouth. By the end of first season, he is responsible for most every major death. His malicious scheming makes him one of the most feared prisoners at Oz, despite not being apart of a major gang. Although he lacks any redeeming qualities, his loving relationship with his mentally handicapped brother, Cyril O'Reilly (Scott William Winters, his actual brother), gives him some much needed heart.

Also, Lost's Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje nearly steals the show as the dangerous and imposing black Homeboys leader, Simon Adebisi. At first a minor character, Abebisi climbs the ranks to become one of the most feared leaders in Oz. His sheer strength and brutality bring fear into every prisoner's heart - his very incarceration due to his beheading a cop with a machete. I always thought his terrific performance as Eko was his best, but Triple A is just as good or better on Oz. He's undeniably iconic in this role; unlike some others, the actor looks like a prisoner and, like in all his other roles, is a badass.

Than there's Muslim leader and black nationalist Kareem Said (Eamonn Walker). He's cool and great at rallying people with his speeches, a Barack Obama before he entered the national consciousness. Abiding by an extreme moral code, he sometimes struggles to follow his own strict rules. As he struggles with his self-imposed standards and the unjust system that incarcerated him, Said proves to be the prison staff's worse enemy, a skilled organizer who can unite his fellow inmates and riot. With charm aplenty, even we would be hypnotized by his sheer coolness.

Other standouts include latino inmate Miguel Alvarez (Kirk Acevedo) and Beecher's complex love interest, Chris Keller (Christopher Meloni).

WHY I RECOMMEND OZ


Several stories interweave behind Oz's bars, all as interesting as the last, but the common unifier in all the happenings is a crippled former crack dealer. Augustus Hill (Lost's Harold Perrineau) serves as the show's narrator, adding depth and backstory to every storyline. Used as a plot tool, he appears in surreal segments where he either introduces characters while explaining why they were incarcerated or narrating the show's outlandish events. Hill does all this while breaking the fourth wall, speaking directly to the audience.

What could have been a corny idea instead comes off as visionary. Acting as a sort of balladeer, Hill relates the prison transgressions to larger issues, but by never giving a solution to the problems he brings forth. What we realize with these narrations is that Oz is much more than just a prison rape show, its an epic drama chronicling the lives of the prison's inmates while criticizing the judicial system.

Oz never is about redemption; on the contrary, the characters descend into worse conditions from where they started. Beecher exemplifies this theme as he starts out as the everyman before becoming a psychotic, vengeful prisoner like the rest of the inmates.

BUT...


Oz isn't for everyone, however. For the faint of heart, this show may be too much; although, if you're a fan of Prison Break or Nip/Tuck, this show may just be for you. I recommend watching the first season on youtube, especially the first four episodes and the first season's finale. Trust me, you're in for a ride.

I love Oz, but the quality, like many dramas, begins to dip in later seasons. Searching for storylines, the show dug deep for new material and grew unrealistic and tiring. And throughout its run, budget problems undoubtedly exist. I wouldn't even recommend watching past the second part of season 4, but before that I think Oz was one of TV's best and most innovative series. Oz is a must for anybody looking for gritty storytelling.


S1-4 part 1: 4.5/5

S4 part 2 - 6: 1/5



Here is a link to one of my favorite scenes from Oz and here is another, the second being really spoiler-y.

Here is a link to the Family Guy gag about Oz and here is an Oz joke from Arrested Development. Also, here is a Saturday Night Live skit parodying Oz and the Seinfeld finale.