What Lost Means to Me

That's why the Red Sox will never win the series.

I remember when Jack first woke up in the jungle, dazed and confused, searching for answers. I remember again when Jack awoke in the jungle, still confused and in search of answers. I still don't understand how 48+ people survived a plane crash, moved an island, survived another plane crash, time traveled to 1977, returned to the present, remembered their lives in another universe, and, most importantly, kept their beards trimmed the entire time. Nor do I care.

What was Lost about? Was it really about the mythology? Or did we fool ourselves into believing the origins of the Frozen Donkey Wheel and Ezra Sharkington were more important than the lives of the survivors of Oceanic Flight 815?

Granted, the central mythology of the show makes up the body of the show, but the characters are its backbone.

Don't tell me what I can't do!

Much like how Ben was never born on the island, I didn't find Lost until the hiatus before the third season. A program aired on direcTV (one that recently re-aired on the 101 network) advertising the sale of the Lost DVD box sets.

I was a kid then, still am. My daily programming primarily consisted of whatever aired on the Disney channel and ESPN. In fact, when the ads first popping up for the first season, the show scared me. I recognized the guy from Lord of the Rings (the brialliant Dominic Monaghan), but the premise frightened the hell out of me. Something about plane crashes just shook me, somehow. Heck, Castaway with Tom Hanks kept me up for nights! And the images shown on the promo were especially realistic and spine tingling. I never thought this show would eventually grab my imagination the way it would.

Besides, a scripted version of Survivor wasn't my cup of tea, but Lost, despite it being a show about plane crash survivors, wasn't really about that.

Obviously, Lost caught the imaginations of many others. While I continued following baseball scores and/or the upcoming Disney channel movies, many others, excuse the pun, got lost in Lost! It became a global phenomena, ranking in some of the best ever ratings for a science fiction program. Millions became entrenched in the quips of Sawyer, the mysteries of the impossible to enter Hatch, the numbers, smoke monster, Sawyer's abs, Jack's redemption, Kate, Locke, it goes on and on. A great number of those people devoted themselves to fan sites to decode the questions making up the mythology. Lost, almost overnight, had become the watercooler show of the internet age - and I missed out on it.

Still, I redeemed myself as best I could. Something about that advertisement grabbed my attention. I don't know what exactly, but I have my suspicions. Most likely it was the scene they showed with Jack and Locke during the finale. This sequence would later be known as the famous "Man of Science, Man of Faith" interaction between the two core characters. I was fixated on the mysterious, scarred old man telling the young, flawed doctor that he did, despite his denial, believe. There was a magic to their squabble, a unique substance to their words I hadn't heard since first watching the Star Wars trilogy. I instantly fell in love with this show.

Everything happens for a reason

I liked Lost at first, but didn't love it. I watched the first three episodes and half of Walkabout before taking a break from Lost.

Sure, I liked it alot. The opening sequence was unlike any other. The acting was great. I liked the pacing plenty. But still...something lacked, and I couldn't explain what exactly.

Then, I decided to stop watching. I put the DVD set back on my shelf and let it gather dust for six months.

I watched other shows, mostly Friends. I still saw plenty of baseball, but I grew out of the Disney channel - no more Goofy for me. I started trying other shows, too - That 70s Show and The Simpsons, for instance. Mostly comedies, with the rare exception of Nip/Tuck. Which scared the living crap out of me.

Then, one random summer day, I got bored. I stopped playing my PS2 and decided to give Lost another chance. I decided to finish watching Walkabout.

Not remembering where I left off, I began from the beginning.

This is destiny!

Once again, in the middle of chaos, Locke wiggled his toe. The mysterious, scarred old man, whose faith versus science speech got me to buy the DVD in the first place, repeated the same motion with his toes.

I had no idea what to make of it. I just took it as nothing. After miraculously surviving the plane crash, he probably just wanted to check to see that everything was okay.

I found the remainder of the episode to be watchable but mediocre television, the same exact thoughts I had when I last attempted to view this episode. I enjoyed the Locke bits, of him being a badass hunter, but besides that...nothing much impressed.

That is, until the episode's final moments. As Locke stared into the fire of the burning corpses, he revisited a memory, a devastating recollection for this tormented hero.

Somehow, someway, Locke had been in a wheelchair. This man, who throughout the episode was viewed as some sort of heroic hunter, was nothing in his previous life but an angry, crippled old man. Shouting at the heavens about what he could not do, Locke yelled out his frustration.

Then we cut again to a familiar scene. This time Locke stood up and the sequence took new meaning. The island gave Locke a second chance, he could finally be the hero he always wanted to be. All at once, behind the brialliant score from composer Michael Giacchino, I realized what this show was about.

It wasn't about running away from monsters or decoding the mysteries of the island - Lost was about its characters, the individuals who got a new life in an unexpected place. At its heart, Lost concerns people, the mistakes they make, the lies they tell, the secrets they keep, the anger they feel, and the love they share.

With the finale dawning upon us, I want to remember not the end but the beginning. Sure, the answers may not be what you expected, but, as Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse keep repeating, this is a show about its characters. This became most apparent when the question of what was the monster became who is the monster. Very slyly, the writers turned one of its biggest questions into a character study.

With The End nearing, I hope for a finale that puts an end to many great character archs, including those of tragic heroes Sawyer, Ben and Richard. Because that is what Lost is really about.

Though, I still hope to find out what the hell that light is!

Superbowl Ads - My Personal Favorites

As I watched the superbowl wondering who'd win the individual matchups, most notably Brees versus Manning, I kept being told to choose between Team Kendra and Team Kim. (The respective girlfriends of NFL players on both sides of the game, Hank Baskett and Reggie Bush) While I rolled my eyes at such foolishness, I was reminded of the insane numbers put up just a few weeks ago in the AFC and NFC championship games. Records of 48 and 50-somthing million viewers tuned in to find out who would come down to Miami to play for the Lombardi trophy. Those were records for that round of the playoffs.

With the economy's still in the stinker, there's no doubt that America continues to love football. Even more so, we love celebrities and Superbowl ads. While I'm not going to dissect the game (the better team won), I will provide links to my favorite Superbowl commercials of this year, including a Budlight commercial spoofing my favorite show about people stranded on a certain mysterious island. Enjoy!

Doritos

Doritos aired several commercials, these are my favorites.

McDonalds

McDonalds made a recreation of the original Larry Bird versus Michael Jordan playing horse commercial by dueling young phenoms Dwight Howard and Lebron James in a dunking contest. A familiar face also makes an appearance.

I included the original commercial, for reference sake.

Bud Light

What a surprise! Bud Light spoofed Lost by having some beer wash up on shore in their first days on the island. Hilarity ensues.

A Few Other Favorites from Past Years

I hope someone finds these clips to be as hilarious, entertaining, and a great waste of time as I did!

Lost Thoughts - LA X Part 1

Hey, doc, you got another plan to save Sayid? Maybe there's a nuke laying around.

I waited and thought about the perfect way to begin this blog post. After a series of long contemplations, I finally decided to start by saying: WOW. It may seem hasty, though I've already seen the episode twice, but this appears to me to be the best premiere yet and really sets up a badass season 6.

I also reflected on where to begin. The opener seemed like an obvious place.

Remind me to hold it next time.

Okay, I'll admit: I watched the teaser. There, sue me. I caved at the last moment. Nine freaking months without Lost does crazy things to you!

Anyway, the premiere cut off after Jack survives the turbulence. My initial thoughts were that the teaser blew because of all the inconsistencies. (Jack's hair, one bottle instead of two, the lines spoke beforehand, Charlie not running by, etc.) After last season's Charlotte's age debacle, I tired of such production errors.

Long behold, there were several differences in the alternate universe, besides all the character's hairs magically being different. Charlie, as already noted, didn't run by Jack, Hurley's feeling lucky, Desmond's aboard the plane, Shannon didn't follow Boone out of Sydney, and so forth.

Speaking of which, Desmond's aboard the plane? That was a mindfuck in itself. His presence begs the question of whether he's with Penny and what's his reason for being on the plane. I believe, based on some theories I've heard, that our favorite time travelling scot, after telling Jack he has his brothas mixed up, is not with Penny at all. If Widmore died on the island from the bomb's explosion, then Penny could have never been born. Then what's the deal with the wedding ring he was supposedly wearing? (according to what someone else told me) Could he have possibly married someone else? Could that person be someone we know, like Libby? I have no clue, all I know is I can't wait to find out.

Also, I noticed Jack having some sort of recollection of the events in the other timeline. The way he looked in the mirror and seemed to recognize Desmond really stood out to me. I'm interested in seeing how this proceeds and if his remembrance will somehow collide the two universes.

By the way, I am not a fan of the CGI on Lost and though the submerging in the water part was cool it was also mad fake. (that fish that swam by was especially unreal) But still that sequence brought chills down my spine.

All in all, a great opener, though I'd still rank at least two introductions ahead of this series of events. The CGI brought it a notch down below the awesomeness of seeing Otherville for the first time in A Tale of Two Cities and the introduction of Desmond in Man of Science, Man of Faith. However, the rest of the episodes did not match up with the next two hours from LA X. Not even close.

Also, here's a pretty cool comparison of the LA X opening conversation with Rose and the original dialouge between the cool. Thanks to Curbfan, for showing me how to add Youtube videos on websites.

This ain't LAX!

So, they're back, just as we expected them to be. Well, not exactly, but close.

If I had a major complaint about Lost as a whole, in all likeliness the grievance would deal with Kate Austen. She just sticks her nose where it shouldn't be. That undecisive piece of trailer trash should have just let Sawyer battle it out with Jack. But no, she takes it upon herself to get in the way. The sooner she dies, the better. But I doubt she'll bite the dust, as much as I want to see her get tossed in a wood chipper.

The Sawyer-Jack rivalry has returned and I fully expect their differences to be a major plot point throughout the final season. I could easily see them being on the opposite side of the imminent war. Heck, Sawyer and Jack are kind of like Jacob and Man in Black in a way.

Speaking of which, I just love whenever the castaways plus Miles work together for a goal. When they together dug to save Juliet was pretty cool.

And I know this may sound totally unbelievable, but I totally called dead Jacob visiting Hurley in the premier, just ask a certain smiling friend of mine about it. I'm never right about anything so I'll enjoy this little victory of mine, however sad it may be.

Anyway, Jacob's message resonated throught the rest of the two hour opener: "Save Sayid, because Man in Black needs to get his neck snapped by his feet of death."

Also, Hurley yelling "I got a gun! And I know how to use it!" while struggling to hold the thing made me laugh, for whatever weird reason.

This thing goes down, I'm sticking with you.

I accidently read somewhere that Ian Somerhalder would reprise his role as Boone in the season premier, and my thinking was "not him again". But the small talk between him and Locke (the real one) may well have been one of the best non-Flocke scenes of the night.

I don't need to recap the dialouge for you, instead I'll just say there were some great lines exchanged between the two and I freaking swore for a second that Locke could walk in this parallel universe.

Boone: "You're not pulling my leg, are you?"

Locke: "Why would I do that?"

Oh my God, I can't even begin to explain the irony! Or the meaning of irony for that matter, but that's an entirely different horse.

Anyway, before my ADD kicks in...

I'm sorry you had to see me like that.

The same smiling friend I mentioned earlier also suggested that at one point Ben will return to his leadership role amongst the Others, as evidence by Illana asking who's in charge before Ben came strolling by. I must admit, old friend, you're speaking irrationally, considering Ben just finished killing their real leader. You're thinking's off since Ben, by far, is your favorite character on the show. If someone kills the President, you don't make them your new President afterwards. It's illogical, but I understand why you think that.

Anywho, I thought Richard was gonna lay a can of whoop ass on Ben when he told him (Not) Locke wanted to talk to him. Instead, he just threw him in front of the real John Locke to show him what they're up against. Honestly, I love Ben, but I would of totally loved for Richard to kick his ass, especially since he just screwed everything up. Oh, well. A man can only dream...

Later, the best series of events took place after Ben reentered the foot, followed by "Jacob's bodyguards". What follows next is the greatest beating ever. Bram and his croons stood no chance against Man in Black. The second I heard smokey's clicking I started saying a prayer for them because I knew just how fucked they were.

After Smokey/Man in Black/Flocke/Not Locke/Esau/whatever the fuck we're calling him easily disposed of the first couple of henchmen, he descended on poor Bram. Sorry, bud, we hardly knew ye. But I liked the little clarification that smokey can't cross the sand for whatever weird reason. I've read that he acted like a pussy in doing this, but I'd just like to say that if I were in that situation I probably would have done the same. Bram knew he stood no shot against him.

After Smokey, for the better of word, kicked their asses, he returned to his old form to say to Ben the best line of the premiere and also the most revealing.

Man in Black: "I'm sorry you had to see me like that."

Awesome!

I'm the luckiest guy alive.

A great scene between Sawyer and Hurley in the parallel universe also took place in the middle of all the craziness of the premiere. There appeared to be plenty of foreshadowing in this simple interaction.

Sawyer very slyly told Hurley to not go around telling people he won the lottery after overhearing him babble with the always pointless Arzt. In future flash parallels, I fully expect Sawyer to try to con some money from the clueless millionaire.

Hurley also mentioned he owned Mr. Cluck's and that he felt he was very lucky. Obviously, this may well be changes brought about by the island being detonated earlier. Without the island, the numbers weren't cursed...which begs to ask the question how would have Hurley heard of the numbers then. Also, this sheds light on Hurley possibly actually being cursed by the numbers in the regular universe. I also assume the original Mr. Cluck's didn't get hit by that meteor, thus explaining the greater popularity of the restaurant.

I also assume Eloise and Widmore's deaths may well mean that Daniel doesn't exist in this universe. Also, Danielle Rousseau could have possibly never crashed on the island and Richard may not even exist. Even Ben could be dead. The possibilities are endless as to what differences were brought about.

I have to tell you something, it's really, really important.

I think Juliet has died like three times in the last two episodes, each demise as heartbreaking as the last. Not to be outdone by Locke, who's died just as many times in the past few seasons.

But even Locke, who I've loved since he stood up off the ground in Walkabout and subsequently got me addicted to this show, didn't make me cry half as much as Juliet did as she passed away in Sawyer's arms.

After getting some help from Jin and Hurley, Sawyer finally descended to save his love. As I predicted, (I'm never right so let me enjoy this) even if she somehow survived everything she still could not have lived through the injuries she had already sustained. After telling Sawyer to kiss her, knowing this was the end of her existence, he said a line I swore was spoken as: "You got blood on you". I didn't understand, until reading later that he actually said, "You got it, Blondie". Just a bit of clarifying, in case you were as befuddled as I was.

Anyway, Juliet died Sawyer's arms. Very, very sad. Almost as sad as the last time she died, but not quite.

I was supposed to die.

In the most foreshadowing scene of the night, Jack helped the extremely flirty Cindy save Charlie on board the plane in the parallel universe, thanks to Sayid's feet. In all honesty, there should be a statue of his feet instead of Taweret's four toes.

Anyway, Sayid's badassness helped Jack save Charlie from choking himself on a bag of heroine he stuck down his throat.

Which begs the question if Charlie was meant to die here. We've seen Jack bring him back to life before, but maybe there is more to all of his rebirths. Perhaps, Jack is special and has the island-given ability to cure people. That would explain Sayid being healed later in the episode, too. Maybe, Jack's had this ability all along, like when he cured Sarah's spine.

I'll be the first to admit that I've been back and forth on whether or not I like Jack, but I really enjoyed him in this premiere. He's been alot less annoying since figuring out he has a destiny as Locke always told him.

Before I forget to mention it, I thought it was great that Dom made an appearance on the show since he had already committed himself to a series. I'm sure Darlton went to the Flashforward producers and said, "Hey, he was our's first! I know you're the next Lost, but we're the real Lost."

And as our heroine addicted friend exited, he said to Jack another great line.

Charlie: "I was supposed to die."

Sounds like a bit of foreshadowing, not only to his later death in the other universe but also to Jack's ability to interfere in such things.

But I could be wrong. Wouldn't be the first time.

Buckle up. We're almost home.

Finally, the plane landed in LA and mirroring one of the final scenes of the first season's Exodus we watched our passengers exit the plane instead of enter.

I wish I had something insightful to say about this great scene except that my stupid sister had set earlier an autotune to her freaking favorite show, TeenMom. So, as I fought with the controller to take me back to some real television, the passengers got off at LAX just as the title of the episode foretold. All the while as I watched what might be the worse show to ever exist.

Luckily, I managed to tune back in to see Locke and Jack share glances. Those two are oh so good together, possibly the second best pairing outside of Ben and Locke. Their chemistry is dynamite.

Asking me what's in the shadow of the damn shadow doesn't mean you're in charge.

I found the title of this episode to be interesting. As we all know, there shouldn't be a space between the A and X in LAX.

I once read a theory that the space can be explained by the fact that it means the Losties in the parallel universe would have to meet in Los Angeles in 2010 (thus the LA and the X, as in 10 in Roman numerals). I found this flawed theory to be interesting but ultimately ridiculous.

I believe it's just an inside joke by Darlton. It's a play on words, I humbly believe. As some of us know, one of the many names given to Jacob's nemesis was Mr. X. The space was placed to separate that letter and give the impression that X would be important.

Though I'm sure there's plenty of other theories out there to explain this odd title, that's all I think it means.

Nice to meet you, Jack...or see you again.

Though I doubted the awesomeness of Lost with the disapointment in season 5, LA X delivered thrills while also promising much more. I can't wait to find out all the answers!

I'm not going to waste anymore time on this blog post as I have work to do and I sometimes value my sleep. I'll try to write my Lost Thoughts on Part 2 whenever I can. Until then I leave you with possibly the greatest promo ever made for the greatest television program ever. It's spoiler free, in case you're worried.

Namaste! And good luck.

A Bundyful Christmas

I'm Married with children...I'll never be free.

I think I may have just stumbled upon a new Christmas tradition this past holiday season. This merry post, coming to you almost a full month after my last entry, is a bit outdated, I'll admit. Sorry, I got caught up on my Christmas gifts. (New laptop! Woo-hoo!) But now, my one or two loyal readers, I present what I believe to be the greatest gift of all - a not-so-merry Christmas with Al Bundy!

Yes, the unhappy shoe salesman may just be the best thing to happen to Christmas since milk and cookies. Move over crappy Christmas specials, Al and the rest of the Bundys are the best show to tune into on those cold December nights.

Now who wants to hear about the red-headed Grinch who stole Uncle Al's life?

Christmas with the Bundys is never cheery but always hilarious. Al, naturally a hater of the season, attempts to bring less cheer to the holidays and always finds himself in one funny situation after the other, whether it duking it out with the mall Santas or reluctantly playing Santa himself. He tries, however unsuccessfully, to bring joy to his family during this time but usually ends up fighting the cheer himself. Unlike other shows where the Christmas episodes bring delight to their characters, the Bundys often end up mocking the popular holiday with their crazy antics and pessimism.

I only just discovered Married...With Children last year, during which time TVland aired Christmas episodes of the show I once heard described as "the most controversial show on TV". I immediately unearthed why such uneasiness surrounded the series. The Bundys are not like other sitcom families - they are unhappy, poor, unloving, spiteful, hungry, and horny. Christmas to them means dissapointment, contradicting the themes of most Christmas specials. That marathon changed my life: I discovered what may have been the funniest show I had ever seen, more so than Friends.

Be quite or I'll send you to the bathroom dungeon like Lil Bobby.

Don't get me wrong - I love the holidays! But Al, Peggy, Kelly, Bud, and the D'Arcys make me laugh nonstop for the three hours I had my butt glued to the couch. TVland, again this year, aired three hours of Bundyful Christmas episodes and they were all as funny as the last. I recommend, for anyone who's looking for a good laugh, to make an appointment during the holidays to visit the Bundy household. You'll laugh, maybe cry, and quite possibly rethink what is the true meaning of Christmas.

5/5, for Married...With Children Christmas episodes

A fat woman came into the shoe store today and wanted a pair of shoes to wear to a Christmas party. I told her to stand on her hands, put a star on her butt, and go as the world’s largest, ugliest Christmas tree. Then she has the nerve to get mad at me because she's fat.

Here are some memorable speeches from the show's Christmas episode 'It's a Bundyful Life: Part 1':

Al: I hate Christmas. The mall is full of nothing but women and children. All you hear is "I want this.", "Get me this.", "I have to have this."... and then there's the children. And they're all by my store 'cause they stuck the mall Santa right outside ringing his stupid bell. As if you need a bell to notice a 300-pound alcoholic in a red suit. "Ho, ho, ho," all day long. So, nice as can be, I go outside, ask him to shut the hell up. He takes a swing at me. So I lay a hook into his fat belly and he goes down. Beard comes off, all the kids start crying and I'm the bad guy.

Al: Twas the night before christmas, and all through the house, / no food was a stirring, not even a mouse. / Stockings were hung 'round dad's neck like a tie, / along with a note that said "presents or die". / Children were plotting all night in their beds, / while the wife's constant whining was splitting his head. / But daddy had money this year in the bank, / then they closed up early, now dad's in the tank. /... and all of a sudden Santa appeared, / a sneer on his face, booze in his beard. / Santa I said as he laughed merrily, / you do so much for others do something for me. / Bundy he said, you only sell shoes, / your son is a sneak-thief, your daughters' a flooze. / Ho Ho Santa said, should I mention your wife, / her hairs like an a-bomb, her nails like a knife. / As he climbs up the chimney, that fat piece of dung, / he mooned me two times, he stuck out his tongue. / And I heard him exclaim, as he broke wind with glee: / you're married with children, you'll never be free.

What happened, the Easter Bunny hang himself on my front lawn?

Also, here is a link to a bunch of the greatest moments from 'It's a Bundyful Life: Part 1'.